Most of the time i would venture to say that my favorite thing about my job is clocking out, taking a shower, and taking that first cold sip of post-shift beer. There are days where i make more money than i could have ever conceived, there are days where i am just "in motion" and everything goes perfectly, and there are days where i get surprise visits from friends or meet a really awesome new person...
The thing about this job is that there is always something different happening - no two days are ever the same. It's kind of neat when i step back and think about it: my job is one of the most unpredictable ones on the planet. Some people would hate this idea, but i love change (if you've known me long enough or have ever looked at my hair, you'll know this.) I like being kept "on my toes", i love "flying by the seat of my pants" - anything to keep my life exciting and new.
Sometimes things are said or things happen at work that are so memorable or hilarious that i will never forget them. Steve's seventies porn star being created will forever be embedded in my brain (RIP John Longbow), a tomato getting sliced in half in midair with the dullest of knives (again Steve), the first time i saw a pug as a service dog and almost made her fail her training test by asking to pet her (sorry Poke), pirate day, dance parties in dish, every sing a long, every bad joke created, every song i've altered to fit work circumstances, and every "walk of shame" in the door by my coworkers who decided to hook up with one another the night before while everyone else in the building has already been told about it. It's the funny stuff that keeps my footsteps light and my mentality positive.
Last week i had one of those "moments", and being one who likes little bits of vengeance from time to time, i just have to write about it.
I have a soft spot for animals and little kids. These are two of my biggest weaknesses. I can't walk down the street and see a dog without immediately wanting to pet it and ask the owner a million questions about it (and if you had any clue how many random wandering dogs i've tried to rescue, you'd think i was a lunatic.) I can't see a cute kid without a big smile forming on my face or sending a little "half wave" in their direction. Kids seem to really enjoy my company. Maybe because i'm goofy and stupid and am probably the closest they'll get to a cartoon character in real life, or maybe just because i pay attention to them. Either way, we have this weird connection that i am totally okay with.
I typically am fascinated with young kids because i envy their innocent, unknowing and ever-so-fascinated with EVERYTHING around them nature. I long for that because as an adult i have become so cynical and jaded about just about everything this world has to offer me. So, any chance i get to "get on their level"is gladly taken.
I had this table with a mom and her two daughters who i would venture to say were maybe ten or twelve. We had a riveting conversation about all things Hello Kitty and why in the hell silly bands are so popular. I found nothing but sheer delight in the fact that they totally agreed with me on the silly band front, and things were going great. We then moved to Mario Kart for Nintendo Wii. Let's just say that this is where the tables turned. Koopa Troopa is my weapon of choice when i play Mario Kart. I have no good reason why; i just chose him one day, and i stuck with him. Well, Anna's favorite is Princess (go fucking figure.) Anna got a little too defensive in this debate we were having and wanted me to state the "one main reason why Koopa Troopa is better than the Princess". Considering her mom was supposed to be tipping me at the end of the meal, the last thing i wanted to do was piss little Anna off. Plus, she's what, TEN?! It would have been just plain rotten of me to belittle her ideals on something like a stupid video game.
So, my well thought out response was "because he's my favorite, that's why."
Anna's response? "Well, that's a stupid reason. I WIN!!!"
Although my initial inert response was "okay you little bitch, i'm running home and grabbing my Wii, and we'll just see who wins"; i was a mature adult (who talks about Hello Kitty and video games with fervor) and let it slide. I'm sure my irritation was written all over my face, but i swallowed my (and Koopa Troopa's) pride gracefully enough i suppose.
At this very moment in my defeat, Anna goes to take a sip of her sprite. Her face cringes and contorts, and she lets that sprite spew out of her mouth like she's a part of the Bellagio's water show. My eyes (along with her mother's, her sister's, and the customer who got the 'first row at Seaworld' treatment in the booth next door's) widened in bewilderment. Anna smacks on the biggest, most pathetic frown i've ever seen on a brat and squeals "that's SOOOOOO GROOOooooOOOOOooooSSSS!" Anna's mom takes a sip, and tells me that the syrup must be out, because it's just soda water.
Anna and I make eye contact, and without thinking twice, i smile at her and say "guess i just won, huh?"
I turn, walk to the back (demonstrating a little victory swagger), and fix Anna's sprite. Seeing her contented, although slightly annoying, created a truce between us. She even waved goodbye and told me that it's okay to like Koopa Troopa even though he sucks.
Anna, you're real "cute" and all, but....
I still won. So suck it.
